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Another Day in ParadiseChallenge yourself - communicate without using profanity
July 31 Beachside weddingHere’s the update: We were married at Myrtle Beach - literally on the beach - with both her kids and mine present (see attached photo). The minister was Lamar Boulware, a good Southern Baptist with a real soft spot. Blessings to all, Tim
June 22 Marriage, that under-rated institution...As Liz Taylor is quoted as saying, "Marriage is something you only do seven or eight times in a lifetime, so you should take it seriously...."
In western culture, it's not very manly to talk about love and marriage. Those are sappy topics for the weak at heart and the simple. Better to talk about sports, politics, conflicts, conquests... so, if I am weak at heart and simple, so be it!
19 years ago I got married. I was too young to know what love was, and so I married. We were both too young. I expected it to last without investing anything into it. I naively expected to benefit from it without contributing to it. 14 years later, after that marriage dissolved, I went through a spiritual journey of despair, guilt, self-analysis, discovery, and maturity. I finally came to terms with being single and content. Then, completely unexpectedly, I met the most amazing woman I had ever met in my life. Almost from the beginning, I was certain we were destined to be with each other for the rest of our lives. I didn't know how (we live 10 hours from each other), or when (we both share custody of our respective kids), but I knew God intended us for one another.
I used to hear people talk about this sort of confidence, and I would wonder what they meant. Now, I was experiencing it, and I understood. I knew that the intervening years of reflection and my lessons in contentment had prepared me to give of myself to a relationship for which I would otherwise have been unprepared - even unable to do so. I knew that the crucible of self-doubt and the overwhelming sense of failure in the wake of a previously destroyed marriage had served to refine me and had prepared me to invest myself in a relationship with this amazing woman in a way heretofore foreign to me.
In point of fact, investing in a relationship is foreign. It is unnatural, as our natural inclination is to be self-absorbed.
In two weeks, I will marry this amazing woman. Then, in a few short months, I will set off for the second military deployment of my career. During World War II, thousands of men and women waited patiently for each other as their nation called on them to sacrifice for a greater good. They waited for years, and afterward most of them remained together for decade upon decade... until only death could part them.
Today we live in a culture that horribly under-values marriage, burdens it with unrealistic expectations, insists on bolting at the slightest promise of inconvenience. 50 years ago, the Great Depression and two World Wars within a matter of two decades prepared a generation of people to understand the values of sacrifice, loyalty, and the commitment of a daily investment in renewing love; not resting in the complacency of taking each other for granted.
What my fiancé and I share is greater than common interests and values; we share a mutual desire to give. That giving is the life-blood of any truly healthy relationship. The more I give, the more she gives right back. And the more she gives, the greater my desire to give to her.
While I serve my country, I know that my sweet bride will patiently await my return; I cherish the knowledge, and know just how unusual that is, and how lucky I am. I know that however many or few our years together on this earth, we share a hope to spend an eternity together afterwards. Liz Taylor my become bored with her current partner... and the next....
As for me, I'm planning to keep this one not only for this lifetime, but the next as well. Like Jacob, I know a good thing when I see it.
February 18 Your help needed!Friends,
Two dear ladies I know, one of whom I’ve known since my youth, are engaged in the most noble of enterprises. But they need your help.
Tanya serves as the Executive Director of the American Foundation for Children with AIDS (AFCA), and Sarah just recently joined AFCA as their eBay Store Manager. AFCA’s mission is to improve the lives of children and youth struggling with the impact of the HIV/AIDS pandemic by providing cost-effective relief, services, medical and social support, education and advocacy to help these victims achieve their full life potential.
One of the ways that AFCA can earn money for the foundation is by utilizing eBay’s no-fee policy for non-profit businesses. By doing so, AFCA is able to collect 100% of the profit. It was for this reason that Sarah was brought on-board to help the foundation by serving as the manager for their online eBay store.
Sarah recently sent out this request, which I gladly pass along to you:
…My reason for writing is simple: I’m wondering whether you may have things around your home that you would be willing to donate to AFCA for us to sell on eBay? If you are familiar with eBay, you may already know that the possibilities for selling are almost limitless! Below are a few ideas of things you may have to donate…
§ Did you receive a gift for Christmas that you just know you’ll probably never use? Perhaps it’s still in its original packaging? Send it our way! § Are you an empty-nester who is looking to clear out all the “stuff” that your family accumulated over the years? § Maybe you’re not an empty-nester yet but your kids have outgrown the myriad of toys that you still have around the house… § Or, maybe you don’t fall into any of the above categories but you’re still like Jason and me who, even though we’ve only been married for 7 years, are still amazed at the amount of “stuff” we’ve accumulated!
These ideas just skim the surface of the possibilities that are there for AFCA to earn money using eBay’s services.
Of course, any donation you make to AFCA could be verified by a receipt for tax-exemption purposes.
So, if you’re looking for a way to get rid of a few things in your home, please contact me and I’ll be happy to make arrangements with you.
Thank you in advance for your help.
Sincerely, Sarah Ladner eBay Store Manager
If you’d like more information about AFCA, please visit their website at www.helpchildrenwithaids.org. Or, let Sarah know and she’ll be happy to provide you with a brochure.
American Foundation for Children with AIDS Headquarters: 769 Grant Street, Lawrence, KS 66044 Main Office: 6221 Blue Grass Avenue, Harrisburg, PA 17112 Phone: 888.683.8323 • www.helpchildrenwithaids.org • sladner@helpchildrenwithaids.org
I wasn’t able to attach the sheet Sarah sent me that provides more detail. If you’d like me to email it to you separately, contact me privately, provide me with an email address and I’ll send it to you. If you have an item you’d like to give that’s not mentioned on the sheet, please contact me and I’ll be happy to discuss it with you.
Thank you in advance for your generous donations to this important work! Tim December 21 Another Christmas StoryI had heard this story before, and found it both humbling and gratifying to know that in the midst of evil the light of good shines brightest. In the interest of full disclosure, I AM supporting this candidate for President. Here is his Christmas story:
My Christmas Story
As a POW, my captors would tie my arms behind my back and then loop the rope around my neck and ankles so that my head was pulled down between my knees. I was often left like that throughout the night.
One night a guard came into my cell. He put his finger to his lips signaling for me to be quiet, and then loosened my ropes to relieve my pain. The next morning, when his shift ended, the guard returned and retightened the ropes, never saying a word to me.
A month or so later, on Christmas Day, I was standing in the dirt courtyard when I saw that same guard approach me. He walked up and stood silently next to me, not looking or smiling at me.
After a few moments had passed, he rather nonchalantly used his sandaled foot to draw a cross in the dirt. We stood wordlessly looking at the cross, remembering the true light of Christmas, even in the darkness of a Vietnamese prison camp. After a minute or two, he rubbed it out and walked away.
That guard was my Good Samaritan. I will never forget that man and I will never forget that moment. And I will never forget that, no matter where you are, no matter how difficult the circumstances, there will always be someone who will pick you up and carry you.
May you and your family have a blessed Christmas and Happy Holidays,
December 19 Wishing all a Blessed ChristmasA Christmas Story unfolds
You know those sappy Christmas stories that start to circulate this time of year; the one about the little boy in tattered clothes who walks into a flower shop with a handful of change and asks how much for a dozen roses for his mother, and the clerk who takes pity and tells him he has just enough, and then sees him run off to the cemetery to lay them at a tombstone….
…or the story I’ve posted on this site related by John Henry Faulk Christmas Story about a cold Texas Christmas and a barefoot boy clutching an orange just as excited as a boy could be about the “most wonderfullest Christmas in the whole New-nited States of America….”
I always suspected those stories were skillfully imagined rather than based on reality, but I could be wrong.
I’d like to tell you a true Christmas story that is even now unfolding. This story begins just the other day in a middle school in a town in Maine.
Yesterday evening I was driving home from work and (as I am wont to do) I phoned my fiancé, “S”. She informed me that she was gracing an art supply / hobby shop. She further informed me that she was selecting a prize for the winner of a competition over which she had presided earlier in the day.
Some background: The woman I love is a sixth grade teacher, and advisor to the middle school newspaper. The paper ran a competition for best artwork depicting a winter scene, which was won by a young lady of amazing talent who chose a horse in a field as her subject.
The girl was called down to “S”’s classroom to be informed that she’d won the competition. The prize, it had been decided, would be art supplies. The child was asked what sort of art supplies she’d prefer (water colors and brushes, pencils, markers, etc.).
She didn’t know. You see, while she possesses a great deal of innate talent, she has not had much experience plying her skills, so she had no point of reference, and so was naturally unsure. “S” suggested she take some time to think about what she’d like and report back once she’d decided.
At the end of the day, she approached the newspaper advisor and haltingly made her request. Would it be okay, she asked, if instead of art supplies, she could have a model car for her brother, since that’s what he wants for Christmas? Apparently, she was not expecting much of a Christmas this year, and wanted to make sure her brother wasn’t disappointed.
At this point in the story, my dear “S”. asked me if I was still on the phone, because I wasn’t responding. It’s hard to talk when you have a sizeable lump in your throat. Alas, I was succumbing to emotional involvement in the story.
Of course, it doesn’t end there. “S”, in her typical style, took it upon herself to spend her own money to secure the model car, adding it to the previously agreed-upon prize, carefully wrapping them both to give to the contest-winner today.
I love that woman.
I’ll keep you posted as this tale continues to unfold.
Oh… and… Merry Christmas - from both of us.
(Santa's helper)
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Invite as friend
